Update

Ever since my latest post showing the rest of my room folks have started asking me if I'm moving - so yes, I'll make it official. - I am moving! :(

I do not know where yet, the current options are...well...let's just say I'm learning yieldedness and trying (albeit it in less than a grown-up way) to accept that whatever He shows me is His highest will, and will be best for me. - Plus, that I'll survive, and even enjoy it. I honestly don't know what I want to do, nor where I really want to go.

I think I could sympathize with this Calvin & Hobbes:

Pray for me? Thanks! :)

These are not current pictures!!!!

I just get asked a lot if I've ever straightened my hair, in fact, this last market day one of the contacts was curling her hair, and randomly straightened one of my strands (turns out my hair is now up to below my waist - cool), so I thought to post some pics of when I did. - The one and only time I ever sat in such an uncomfortable position for so many hours while the dear soul ironed my hair! Yes, that's right, she ironed my hair! :D

I actually felt real dumb/bimboish, I don't know why. - But hey, it was an experience! (Especially when those who came to pick me up didn't spot me in the crowd and I had to walk up to them!) I don't know, I think the curls are part of my character by now...

The art of "flirting"! - Part 2! :)

I’m not sure how this post will turn out, it might be long (so I won’t be offended if you don’t read it all), it might not make a difference, or it might be sensitive – I’m not sure! It is a debatable issue though and one that I’m actually quite interested in hearing what others think. I realize I might be very, very wrong in my mentality, or just plain old proud (which I realize I am, regardless if I’m right or not – HA!), but for now, I’ll let the chips fall where they may and you can tell me what you think! – Let’s just be nice about things, I’m not trying to diss or smear anyone. K? I’m honestly interested in people’s perspectives.

After the latest post, and comments, I realized that I tend to have a dilemma in how I interpret the mentality of just how far we are to go in our attempts to witness to people.

I know the Lord uses us, and we need to do what we can to win people to the Lord, so I do not want to shun that principle, and I don’t know if its just me or if others feel this too, but I actually feel embarrassed when, let’s say, I’m with some girl(s) that use the beauty and shine that the Lord has given them to win people to the Lord, yes, but to kind of “get what they want” and in the end are just teasing. – When do you toe the line of using the means at your disposal in a normal “use it, but don’t abuse it” manner, and when does it cross to the line of just being dishonest and unfair to the poor dude who’s fallen for you?

To me it almost seems as if we risk degrading ourselves, as though being “bait” isn’t necessarily bad, yet it risks to come across as just a step higher than slut/grave-digger, etc.. – And that’s my dilemma!

I know for a fact that usually, and of course this is not Family life-style, but most Western life-styles that are actually pretty open to dating, etc. a girl does not even accept to go out with a guy unless she’s interested or somewhat open to “considering” him. - Just like you don’t give your number to some guy who stops you in a store, unless you’re interested in him. In most “dating worlds” this is actually giving a “green light”, and though I know we’re different, I do feel that it’s important to take the person’s mentality into consideration. – It’s only fair!

I love witnessing to people, I love a challenge as far as winning them to the Lord, and I agree with the concept of how, if the Lord’s given us the gifts, or in the case of Family girls, the beauty and shine of Jesus, which we all have (seriously!), then we should use it, and not hide our light under a bushel, however I do feel there’s a line, albeit it fine, that should be observed when it comes to that.

Most people who will team up with me for outreach or provisioning or anything of that sort will confirm that I’m not shy when it comes to approaching people and using the “beauty” (or whatever you want to call it) the Lord’s given me. I flirt, I joke, I giggle and laugh, I even blush (way too much, which I hate! – Seems many guys in the Subasta think they have a chance with me ‘cause of the fact that I blush when they tell the guy I’m with that they’re intent on marrying me!), and I am able to get “my way” and what we need. I’m aware that many of the guys who often help do so because they’re perhaps hoping for more, or wishing for more. – And yes, I have used this plenty! – And no, I’m not ashamed of it nor am I murmuring or complaining that “oh gosh, all this attention.” - It is a blessing, and though it does disgust me at times (sorry, it’s true!), I know too that the concept of “tell her she’s beautiful and beautiful she’ll be” works with me too.

I used to go to the Aurora book fairs as the “hostess” of our stand, Peepers and I were often the face of our stand (yes, we even made it in the Fair’s newspapers centre-page twice – Peepers and I – lol), and I know that my “looks” (I feel odd calling myself pretty or beautiful) were a huge help to that. I even remember the major embarrassment I felt when I heard that one of the people they had written to communicate with after a fair replied with a “Hello T. (my name) – I am so sorry and I hope this doesn’t come across wrong as I don’t intend it to, but honestly you are the only thing I remember of your stand.” – Seems that e-mail went around to the rest of the team and I heard about it from the others. – Ahem! Oh well…at least he was honest. :) Yet I also remember how degraded I felt when someone made a comment as to the effect of how my demeanor, character, looks, etc. was excellent for the fairs as I was perfect bait for people to come and “check me out”, and then see what great products we had. – I took that comment way too seriously, so that was wrong of me, but really, I do think there’s a way to witness to people (in my case, men) by being honest and upfront, sure, use your charm, your beauty, flirt, but I think there’s an art to be kept as to how its done.

I’m honestly not saying I know how to do this, and if anything this might be “pie-in-the-sky”, but I do admit that I often feel rather slutty to be pushed forward to “talk with someone and flirt with them” in order to get what is needed, or whatever. – You almost feel as if you’re being rather cheap about yourself.

Or is that just me?

I always found the FFing testimonies of our FGA women fascinating and intriguing, as though I imagine that not all mastered this above mentioned art, most of them received so much input from Dad, and even experience, as to how to be the “bait”, but to keep it in the right perspective. The movie “Dangerous Beauty” always captivated me because of that in many ways, and though I realize she did give them “some”, she did it with class, and contrary to what often happens when a man finally gets what he wants and has tried it out, those men came back for more.

I’m not sure if I’m way over my head with this, I’m honestly not that clear on how I personally see the “right way” working, but I do know that I’ve questioned often just how it might work. I think many of us SGAs & YAs need more input and training in how to minister to people within those boundaries. - We do not, after all, FF anymore! I am actually proud of my calling in life though, and when I minister to people and witness to them, I don’t feel that I have to use my “looks” to get what I want or to win people to the Lord. – I personally have boldness and conviction that if I need something, then as Jesus told his disciples in Luke 10:7: “the labourer is worthy of his hire.” And He “will supply all our needs” (Phil.4:19) Yes, it’s a HUGE blessing and helps people give more generously if I’m decent looking, but I also have women contacts at the market that just love me (us) and bubble over with the hugs, the smiles, the chats we have, etc. – And I don’t flirt with them! I witness to them, I pray for/with them, I listen to their heart-cries and problems, I try (yes, at least try) to lead them to the Lord and the Word, and that’s really my point, I don’t want people thinking its “me”. – If you use yourself, if you use your looks, if you flirt, aren’t you leading people to yourself rather than Jesus?

I don’t know if I made sense of things. – I guess we’ll see! I realize I haven't done the subject justice, but I am interested in people’s opinions though! Please let me know what you think. :)

What?

I was out driving with someone in our Home that's getting more practice and hours, when she explained to me how the Mexican written test has this odd question. For one I was shocked that there was a written test for a Mexican driver's license (I'm sure that most people here just walk in to an office and buy their license - it seems that's all you need; to be 18 and to have the money. - It is a natural instinct to know how to drive by that age, didn't you know?) Ok, fine, I know some folks do go to a driving school, but the majority don't. - It's scary! I tried, and tried, to abide by the 1 & 1 rule at the cross-roads, but no, everyone just pushes their way in. PTL!

So back to this question - it seems that they ask you "When you are taking a bus, if you get in through the back doors, should you make your way to the front to pay for your ticket, or should you just wait in the back until your stop comes?"

Aside from the obvious point that if I'm taking my license test it's because I intend to avoid taking buses, I wonder what exactly they're trying to infer when asking that question? Integrity? Hmmm...

Oh well, at least I found out there is a written test. - Next time I get to those 1 & 1 cross-roads I'll be sure to call out that bus question though! :D

He's 4!

The art of "flirting"!

After reading Angie's post about cat-calls, whistles, and the likes, I realized that I'm not half-way as oblivious to these things as I wish I was! I've lived in plenty of countries where this is the norm, and I don't think I'm bugged by it that much. - What ticks me off is when men get touchy, and THAT really does not go down right! Romania, sad to say, is my nightmare, as that's the place where I had the worst and most disgusting experiences, but that's good, as it makes any other situations rather mellow. :D

Back to my train of thought, the art of flirting is a strange thing! I can think of someone that I like, that tries his hand at flirting and its great - but then if someone I don't like does it then NO - its embarrassing and sometimes a downright turn-off. Do you get that too?

I go to the market each week, right? So yes, usually I get the whistles, the barks, the meows, and lots, lots, lots more. Last week was especially intense as my partner was basking in the attention. - Foolish dude! :D It turns out he was rather proud of walking with me. HA! That is actually quite nice, except when you have a crowd of about 35 men whistling at you and find that he's been giving them all the thumbs up. Hmmm... Who's side was he on? (I guess he was trying to see just how many he could rally to the "cause". :D)

I actually did one of the isles at the market alone as there weren't enough people, but it was good - I got different guys to carry the bags (it is, after all, a bad sample for ladies to be carrying stuff, so though I'm relatively strong, I'll let them do the carrying - no problem there) and that's when a certain someone showed up. He works in the military and does the purchases at the market. - And he buys products from one of our contacts. I was surprized to see him again as I hadn't really seen him before (that I noticed), other than the week before, but I found out, once he came up to me and started chatting with me, that he had asked our contact who I was, what days I came, around when, etc. Goodness! - So yes, he showed up, the contact (lady) got a giggle out of it as she walks off, leaving me to chat with this officer. Ahem!

This is when I feign ignorance, and choose what I do and don't understand! - But seriously, the question I have is, how can someone be so sure of themselves to where they set themselves up? Fine, he's a decent looking man, but hello? What makes him so sure that he's my type? I gave him a tract and we have our phone number on the back - wrong move (but hello - I do want to do my Christian part), so yes, come Saturday morning he calls.

Him: Hi, can I speak with Celeste.

Me: That's me - who do I have the pleasure to talk with? (note: that's just the polite way to say it in Spanish)

Him: (Name - starting with R.)

Me: Ummm....hi R - I'm sorry, which R.? :D

Him: Which R.? The R. The one you met and gave your number to at the market.

Me thinking: Yeah right!

Me (speaking): Oh that one - Hi R! How are you?

Him: I'm doing fine, and you? Have you eaten breakfast yet?

Me: Breakfast? Well, yes, I have! TX!

Him: Is this your cell phone?

Me: No, this is my house phone (thinking: hello, did you dial the cell-phone number code? DUH!)

Him: Of course, of course, I should have imagined you'd give me your house number.

Me thinking: (gulps - let's hope he doesn't become a stalker and try to trace it down. Yikes!)

Him: So, what are you doing?

Me: Cleaning

Him: Should I come over and help you? (And this is where I'm sure he was winking.)

What do you think I said? I thought to give him the spiel of how "dude, sorry, but you have NO chances - if I'm going to mess up I'll make sure its with someone that I'm SURE will be worth it - ahem..." but in the end I just asked him to call back at another time as I really was not able to take the call now.

All that to say though, why, oh why, or I should say HOW can people be so sure of themselves? Maybe I am in the state that I am because I don't have such a high self-esteem, but I always figured it was best to follow the verse about taking the lowest position so as to be raised to the higher one, rather than embarrassing yourself by being told to move.

I seem to get this a lot, but then I thought of something else. I think I come across as a strong character (heh - understatement, I know) to where its possible that guys think that they have to show me confidence (well, the guys in the big bad world at least, its different with Family guys or former members), I do get the "Cel, you're intimidating" a lot, so maybe they're just trying.

Oh well, what to say...

Aren't they just dashing?

My nephews - Brian (10 in October), Francis (7 in August), and Justin (4 in a few days)!

Yes, yes, I know - they're a splitting image of me. :D

Claire Rocks! :D

I just love the passion and fervor that the teens in our Home have for witnessing, winning souls, and for getting people “in”. Just last weekend alone they won (if I got the number right) 275 souls while they were on a fundraising road-trip! – Awesome!

Last night I drove to the airport for one of my usual pick-ups! It had been my WnR, but I took off early to get this person, dreading the traffic (which we hit, but managed to survive – TTL) and the rain, etc. We get there only to find that they were not there yet. – And we were half an hour late! So we park (knowing we’ll have to pay for the dreadfully expensive parking) and are making our way to the arrivals section when we find that it’s chaotic in the airport itself. Not knowing why exactly we keep going, pushing our way through the throngs, and then find ourselves in front of (and eventually surrounded by) video cameras, photographers, microphones, etc. – Turns out the Mexican soccer team was returning from playing in Venezuela – for the Copa America.

Claire-bear (soon to be 16) recognizes them, of course, and is all excited about it. – Pointing them out and wondering where her favorite one is. :D – So funny! I was more intent on finding the person we were picking up, while she was like “Cel, when we head back, if they’re still around, can we see if I. has some tracts, we could give them to them…” to which I point out that I have tracts, and hand them to her and tell her she can give them to them, but to make sure she doesn’t go anywhere else, but just sticks to those doors, while I run off to find the person.

I find the person we came to get, and find Claire upon return, all excited that she had given them all tracts, even got one of them saved (while the video camera was filming – ha) though a wee tad disappointed that the one she really wanted to see wasn’t there. (Turns out they had the big shot players sneak out a different route, all the while sending the other ones through the main doors to keep the media busy. LOL!)

When we got home I went online to see if we could find some pics of the ones we saw, which Claire gave tracts to – I don’t have time to google them all, and I must admit, though I’m really into the Italian soccer players (seeing as they are, after all, so good-looking – ahem), I haven’t had any time to keep up with the Mexican ones, and after searching for 5 whole minutes I realized I do NOT have the time for this. I know one called out at me reading the shirt I was wearing. (Heh, my shirt had “Italia” on it – Claire was worried that might offend them.) Well, the guy seemed fine, besides, I get it a lot, people read the shirt, while they look at the boobies. Riiiiiight….LOL!

So, now that we gave most of the Mexican soccer team tracts and the salvation message the next mission is to get the Italian soccer team in too!! – It would be a dream come true. :D

The rest of my room!

I'd better put these up before it's too late...seeing as I won't actually be here that much longer.

Ladies and gentlemen, the rest of my room!

Sniff... :'(

(At least I can TTL that the furniture is mine. YAY!)

Have you ever taken the time to listen to the words of "Amazing Grace"? I've heard and even sung that song a million and one times, I'm sure of it, but it wasn't until this morning, when some words started running through my head, particularly the second verse, "When we've been here ten thousand years...bright shining as the sun..." that I thought "hey, amazing grace for what?"

So I figured I'd read through all the verses of the song (I only know several, after all), and found that the verse right before that is:

The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.

So the next train of thought was "who wrote that song, and what was the occasion/history to it?" - Ahem, call me ignorant, but I hadn't ever really taken the time to figure it out, I don't know, it never crossed my mind.

So I did, and amidst all the info out there, I came across this clip. - "Amazing Grace" history.

It's a bit long, but I found it interesting in more ways than one. - I mean, talk about people who had amazing grace, the slaves went through hell in many ways, and they sure had amazing grace. - It really put my trials and "difficulties" in perspective in many ways. I never liked comparing when it came to getting over trials, if there's something that really does NOT help cheer me up is when someone tries to tell me that "hey, its not as bad as such and such", but I have to admit, the thought of how these folks really rose above the injustices that came their way, I don't know, there's no comparison.

And for certain:

When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.

It is well!

This post from a dear friend touched me. I know what she’s referring to so that might be why I “feel” it. – The thing is, when she popped me to ask for prayer it was the second prayer request she’d sent my way in two days, and to add to it, I was surrounded by not one, but two other pretty “out-of-the-norm” and even drastic situations going on to loved ones and friends, or loved ones of friends.

Her quote of “One more day one more problem. - They seem to mount as time goes on…” is a thought that I know comes to my mind often as well. I’ve seen that when you’re in the thick of the battle, or just personally involved, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. – I don’t know that I do that well with the situations I’m confronted with myself, but, when thinking and praying about it I realized that it comes back to having that firm foundation that “it is well” (2 Kings 4:26). – And He gives us grace through the trial at the hour and when we need it.

I was reminded of that beautiful comment that Mama talked about in the Feast 2006 letter of encouragement and understanding. It was in regards to the FM couple who lost their child:

(Mama:) “She closed her letter to us by saying, through almost uncontrollable weeping, ‘I know that one day I will be able to sincerely thank Him for not only bringing this little life to me, but for taking him Home again.'
I know that she didn't feel that she had that much faith. She probably thought she had the least faith of anyone. But you see, the Lord doesn't look on things the way we do. He sees things so differently. If, when all your emotions and all your feelings are crying out in confusion and agony, you can still say, "I know that You know best, dear Jesus," because you know deep down in your heart the truth that God does all things well, that is great faith. God always whispers His truth deep down in your heart, that He does all things well, and this is the fact that you can stand on even though circumstances tell you differently.”

I admire people who can do that! I know each person is battling in their own way. I see the battles intensifying, I sometimes even feel guilty that I can’t do more, but I know that Jesus is enough, prayer is powerful and not the least I can do, and that these are the times that He’s carrying each one who is going through it. – Those single set of footprints are His!

You’re all in my prayers!

It's all in the hair...

...and maybe the eyes too, I don't know. :)

I find it funny how I'm compared or "named" after people. - It's actually rather entertaining. You might remember my "Dori Post" - well, I have a few more since then. Here we go:

Queen Brunhild!

When a certain someone kept referring to me as her (teasing me, of course) I thought of the one we have in our letters, you know, tall, big (yes, that fits me), but with dark, straight hair. - Turns out she was the Icelandic Queen, so blonde and blue-eyed she was (or is recorded to be). - Not bad. :P

Then there was Lady Godiva!

I did a search for a pic of her, and found this one - I don't know...maybe? LOL!

And last but not least it seems that some of the market contacts have started referring to me as "Splash". - HA! That's not bad either, come to think of it. (We are the same height at least.)

Funny! :)

When the lights go out...

I'm back! :D - In more ways than one. This is the second time in two months that I have to format and reinstall Windows due to some fritz out with backing up my PGP disk, the mup file, and whatnot! BUT TTL! - So far, other than x amount of hours working on just that, I haven't lost any work! - If anything, I'm starting to feel pretty geeky! (Not sure if that's good or not. Heh! - I rather enjoy letting guys help me figure things out and giving me "tips".)

At any rate, that's not the concept of the post. - I have another simple, but fun, event to tell about!

Our electricity went off the other night!

Well, that's not usually cool, nor fun, but for our Home it was. It's not that we have tons of computers to where everyone is at computers all day, and retires to them at night, but we don't really have a place where everyone socializes in the evenings. - I'm not sure why actually, but either way, we don't!

But with the lights all off we found ourselves sitting on the stairs, chatting, joking, telling stories and "traumatic testimonies", and even sticking ice down each other's shirts and skirts. You see, it's a game, I think I'll call it "A chain-reaction of ice". :D The concept of the game is that you have to "sneak" the ice into the next person's shirt or pants/skirt, and they have to likewise keep it rolling, before the ice melts. No, I didn't come up with this game, in fact, they stuck it down my shirt and it melted. HA! Oh well...

We eventually moved into Mic and Joy's room, those of age had some nice margarita's on the rocks (alas, no blender to crush the ice without electricity), and I think everyone enjoyed the impromptu "bonding" night we had. - I know I did!

And then, just when folks were on their way to bed...yup, that's right, the lights came back on. - I tell you, we have an awesome entourage of spirit helpers that even help ensure we have uniting activities. ;)

Why?

Look what I found!

But only in VHS?!
Oh why?!

I love doing Tae Bo - its the answer to my energy and hyperness build up, and variety is IMPORTANT! Anyone know where I can find these in DVD format? This selection looks awesome. Sniff...I want! Oh dear!

I love Croatia!

I shouldn't do this, I know I shouldn't, but I couldn't help it! - Isn't it beautiful???!!!

Some day...
I've claimed my spots for the Millennium!!

What goes around...

I don't know about others, but I know I have to put forth extra effort to actually notice those "little things" that give me a spark and a smile in my day. I do tend to have a smile on my face most all the time (it is less work, after all), but if we didn't have those little things to give us that extra zest, well, in my personal life, I'd feel rather bored and depressed. - Especially with my line of work.

I am not, however, a depressed person (TYJ for that!), so I'm on a campaign to notice those things and thank the Lord for them. Dwelling on the positive events only helps me see how blessed I am, so bear with me folks if I come up with some simple stuff this coming week. - This is me trying to be a "good girl" and dwell on the good, rather than condemning myself because of my failings.

The first "little thing" that comes to mind actually wasn't that little to me. I have lots of friends I keep in touch with off and on, some more than others, but one thing I do often (for my prayer vigil) is go through my chat list and pray a special prayer for each one. - Asking the Lord to do something special in their life, be it to encourage them, inspire them, heal them, mend their broken heart, supply for them, or just do that little extra something to make their day brighter.

There's this one particular friend that I hadn't heard from for a while - other than through word of mouth from folks who heard about him or saw him here and there. He's not in the Family anymore, but we go back to interesting times (sorry, no better word to express it). We had great debates he and I. - I even got frustrated at one point as his wanting to prove his point was only pulling him farther from our friendship. But I still prayed...and then, just the other day I got an off-line from him:

Hey dear Cel, how are you hon? Someone sent me this clip today. I thought maybe you'd like it... I did. I wept & watched it again & again. Despite the feebleness of my humanity... behold the King of my heart - CLICK ME
I love you Cel. Take it easy girly xxx

Click on that link and see what it is! I did, and though no one saw the smile on my face, it was huge. Little did this man know that he was lead to the music video Andrew Vee put together to "Living in the Light of Your Love" (a Family song he hadn't heard) from the movie "Jesus".

I always loved that music video (Julz and I used to have regular praise time with it at the end of a long day - lol), but now it has an even closer place to my heart. I managed to catch this guy online and chat with him a bit, and yes, I told him where that song and movie clip came from and he really didn't know it was ours.

All that to say, I felt good after that "event"! I felt thankful for all the effort put into that little video by Andrew, and I felt thankful that I kept this guy on my chat and in my prayers. - What goes around comes around - just when you need it.