The art of "flirting"!
After reading Angie's post about cat-calls, whistles, and the likes, I realized that I'm not half-way as oblivious to these things as I wish I was! I've lived in plenty of countries where this is the norm, and I don't think I'm bugged by it that much. - What ticks me off is when men get touchy, and THAT really does not go down right! Romania, sad to say, is my nightmare, as that's the place where I had the worst and most disgusting experiences, but that's good, as it makes any other situations rather mellow. :D
Back to my train of thought, the art of flirting is a strange thing! I can think of someone that I like, that tries his hand at flirting and its great - but then if someone I don't like does it then NO - its embarrassing and sometimes a downright turn-off. Do you get that too?
I go to the market each week, right? So yes, usually I get the whistles, the barks, the meows, and lots, lots, lots more. Last week was especially intense as my partner was basking in the attention. - Foolish dude! :D It turns out he was rather proud of walking with me. HA! That is actually quite nice, except when you have a crowd of about 35 men whistling at you and find that he's been giving them all the thumbs up. Hmmm... Who's side was he on? (I guess he was trying to see just how many he could rally to the "cause". :D)
I actually did one of the isles at the market alone as there weren't enough people, but it was good - I got different guys to carry the bags (it is, after all, a bad sample for ladies to be carrying stuff, so though I'm relatively strong, I'll let them do the carrying - no problem there) and that's when a certain someone showed up. He works in the military and does the purchases at the market. - And he buys products from one of our contacts. I was surprized to see him again as I hadn't really seen him before (that I noticed), other than the week before, but I found out, once he came up to me and started chatting with me, that he had asked our contact who I was, what days I came, around when, etc. Goodness! - So yes, he showed up, the contact (lady) got a giggle out of it as she walks off, leaving me to chat with this officer. Ahem!
This is when I feign ignorance, and choose what I do and don't understand! - But seriously, the question I have is, how can someone be so sure of themselves to where they set themselves up? Fine, he's a decent looking man, but hello? What makes him so sure that he's my type? I gave him a tract and we have our phone number on the back - wrong move (but hello - I do want to do my Christian part), so yes, come Saturday morning he calls.
Him: Hi, can I speak with Celeste.
Me: That's me - who do I have the pleasure to talk with? (note: that's just the polite way to say it in Spanish)
Him: (Name - starting with R.)
Me: Ummm....hi R - I'm sorry, which R.? :D
Him: Which R.? The R. The one you met and gave your number to at the market.
Me thinking: Yeah right!
Me (speaking): Oh that one - Hi R! How are you?
Him: I'm doing fine, and you? Have you eaten breakfast yet?
Me: Breakfast? Well, yes, I have! TX!
Him: Is this your cell phone?
Me: No, this is my house phone (thinking: hello, did you dial the cell-phone number code? DUH!)
Him: Of course, of course, I should have imagined you'd give me your house number.
Me thinking: (gulps - let's hope he doesn't become a stalker and try to trace it down. Yikes!)
Him: So, what are you doing?
Me: Cleaning
Him: Should I come over and help you? (And this is where I'm sure he was winking.)
What do you think I said? I thought to give him the spiel of how "dude, sorry, but you have NO chances - if I'm going to mess up I'll make sure its with someone that I'm SURE will be worth it - ahem..." but in the end I just asked him to call back at another time as I really was not able to take the call now.
All that to say though, why, oh why, or I should say HOW can people be so sure of themselves? Maybe I am in the state that I am because I don't have such a high self-esteem, but I always figured it was best to follow the verse about taking the lowest position so as to be raised to the higher one, rather than embarrassing yourself by being told to move.
I seem to get this a lot, but then I thought of something else. I think I come across as a strong character (heh - understatement, I know) to where its possible that guys think that they have to show me confidence (well, the guys in the big bad world at least, its different with Family guys or former members), I do get the "Cel, you're intimidating" a lot, so maybe they're just trying.
Back to my train of thought, the art of flirting is a strange thing! I can think of someone that I like, that tries his hand at flirting and its great - but then if someone I don't like does it then NO - its embarrassing and sometimes a downright turn-off. Do you get that too?
I go to the market each week, right? So yes, usually I get the whistles, the barks, the meows, and lots, lots, lots more. Last week was especially intense as my partner was basking in the attention. - Foolish dude! :D It turns out he was rather proud of walking with me. HA! That is actually quite nice, except when you have a crowd of about 35 men whistling at you and find that he's been giving them all the thumbs up. Hmmm... Who's side was he on? (I guess he was trying to see just how many he could rally to the "cause". :D)
I actually did one of the isles at the market alone as there weren't enough people, but it was good - I got different guys to carry the bags (it is, after all, a bad sample for ladies to be carrying stuff, so though I'm relatively strong, I'll let them do the carrying - no problem there) and that's when a certain someone showed up. He works in the military and does the purchases at the market. - And he buys products from one of our contacts. I was surprized to see him again as I hadn't really seen him before (that I noticed), other than the week before, but I found out, once he came up to me and started chatting with me, that he had asked our contact who I was, what days I came, around when, etc. Goodness! - So yes, he showed up, the contact (lady) got a giggle out of it as she walks off, leaving me to chat with this officer. Ahem!
This is when I feign ignorance, and choose what I do and don't understand! - But seriously, the question I have is, how can someone be so sure of themselves to where they set themselves up? Fine, he's a decent looking man, but hello? What makes him so sure that he's my type? I gave him a tract and we have our phone number on the back - wrong move (but hello - I do want to do my Christian part), so yes, come Saturday morning he calls.
Him: Hi, can I speak with Celeste.
Me: That's me - who do I have the pleasure to talk with? (note: that's just the polite way to say it in Spanish)
Him: (Name - starting with R.)
Me: Ummm....hi R - I'm sorry, which R.? :D
Him: Which R.? The R. The one you met and gave your number to at the market.
Me thinking: Yeah right!
Me (speaking): Oh that one - Hi R! How are you?
Him: I'm doing fine, and you? Have you eaten breakfast yet?
Me: Breakfast? Well, yes, I have! TX!
Him: Is this your cell phone?
Me: No, this is my house phone (thinking: hello, did you dial the cell-phone number code? DUH!)
Him: Of course, of course, I should have imagined you'd give me your house number.
Me thinking: (gulps - let's hope he doesn't become a stalker and try to trace it down. Yikes!)
Him: So, what are you doing?
Me: Cleaning
Him: Should I come over and help you? (And this is where I'm sure he was winking.)
What do you think I said? I thought to give him the spiel of how "dude, sorry, but you have NO chances - if I'm going to mess up I'll make sure its with someone that I'm SURE will be worth it - ahem..." but in the end I just asked him to call back at another time as I really was not able to take the call now.
Oh well, what to say...
posted by CurlyCel @ 8:25 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Sometimes it must be awful to be a girl. But if a guy sees someone he fancies, why shouldn't he go "all out" to get to talk to her? In the bad world (ex systemite here!) lack of confidence is seen as a failure if you're a guy. Maybe you could have said " Hi R, we could meet at the xyz coffee bar and have a Bible reading session."
You may recall that time you spent outside the Fam, just how different the systemites were compared to the members behaviour inside the Fam.
pete
I used to have many theories and thoughts on the subject as well. HA..Now I find it interesting to read yours for example. I try to look at it as a good thing: What are we gonna do when we'll stop hearing those compliments and the whistles?? Clear sign that we're old and ugly?..haha..Now, seriously, I do believe that guys outside feel attracted to the Lord's spirit. Btw you do strike as a "hard to get", very confident and together person Celeste!!! ILy Celeste..you're very lovely, cute and sweet indeed! So..USE IT!!..xoxoxox Kathy (Czech)
As soon as I got PG (and was noticeably so) the cat calls and whistles stopped completely. Funny thing, I almost missed them. I figured, wow, I must have gotten ugly overnight! However, I also felt safer going out on my own. So I guess it works both ways - being either fat, PG or ugly will stop the cat calls and whistles, so at least you know you aren't any of the above if you are still getting them! :-)
You're right - I should look at the bright side. Come to think of it, maybe I'll start giving them all the thumbs up, just like my market partner did. :D
Its funny. I very rarely get catcalls... and it does feel a bit disconcerting. I chalk it up to the fact that I'm walking with my husband, but I think I also turned ugly overnight.
Still, I would have said YES to the breakfast and I'd take the Conectate mag, bible, CD cards... the works! Many supporters and disciples were won with a little initial flirting. You gotta work it girl!
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