The art of "flirting"! - Part 2! :)

I’m not sure how this post will turn out, it might be long (so I won’t be offended if you don’t read it all), it might not make a difference, or it might be sensitive – I’m not sure! It is a debatable issue though and one that I’m actually quite interested in hearing what others think. I realize I might be very, very wrong in my mentality, or just plain old proud (which I realize I am, regardless if I’m right or not – HA!), but for now, I’ll let the chips fall where they may and you can tell me what you think! – Let’s just be nice about things, I’m not trying to diss or smear anyone. K? I’m honestly interested in people’s perspectives.

After the latest post, and comments, I realized that I tend to have a dilemma in how I interpret the mentality of just how far we are to go in our attempts to witness to people.

I know the Lord uses us, and we need to do what we can to win people to the Lord, so I do not want to shun that principle, and I don’t know if its just me or if others feel this too, but I actually feel embarrassed when, let’s say, I’m with some girl(s) that use the beauty and shine that the Lord has given them to win people to the Lord, yes, but to kind of “get what they want” and in the end are just teasing. – When do you toe the line of using the means at your disposal in a normal “use it, but don’t abuse it” manner, and when does it cross to the line of just being dishonest and unfair to the poor dude who’s fallen for you?

To me it almost seems as if we risk degrading ourselves, as though being “bait” isn’t necessarily bad, yet it risks to come across as just a step higher than slut/grave-digger, etc.. – And that’s my dilemma!

I know for a fact that usually, and of course this is not Family life-style, but most Western life-styles that are actually pretty open to dating, etc. a girl does not even accept to go out with a guy unless she’s interested or somewhat open to “considering” him. - Just like you don’t give your number to some guy who stops you in a store, unless you’re interested in him. In most “dating worlds” this is actually giving a “green light”, and though I know we’re different, I do feel that it’s important to take the person’s mentality into consideration. – It’s only fair!

I love witnessing to people, I love a challenge as far as winning them to the Lord, and I agree with the concept of how, if the Lord’s given us the gifts, or in the case of Family girls, the beauty and shine of Jesus, which we all have (seriously!), then we should use it, and not hide our light under a bushel, however I do feel there’s a line, albeit it fine, that should be observed when it comes to that.

Most people who will team up with me for outreach or provisioning or anything of that sort will confirm that I’m not shy when it comes to approaching people and using the “beauty” (or whatever you want to call it) the Lord’s given me. I flirt, I joke, I giggle and laugh, I even blush (way too much, which I hate! – Seems many guys in the Subasta think they have a chance with me ‘cause of the fact that I blush when they tell the guy I’m with that they’re intent on marrying me!), and I am able to get “my way” and what we need. I’m aware that many of the guys who often help do so because they’re perhaps hoping for more, or wishing for more. – And yes, I have used this plenty! – And no, I’m not ashamed of it nor am I murmuring or complaining that “oh gosh, all this attention.” - It is a blessing, and though it does disgust me at times (sorry, it’s true!), I know too that the concept of “tell her she’s beautiful and beautiful she’ll be” works with me too.

I used to go to the Aurora book fairs as the “hostess” of our stand, Peepers and I were often the face of our stand (yes, we even made it in the Fair’s newspapers centre-page twice – Peepers and I – lol), and I know that my “looks” (I feel odd calling myself pretty or beautiful) were a huge help to that. I even remember the major embarrassment I felt when I heard that one of the people they had written to communicate with after a fair replied with a “Hello T. (my name) – I am so sorry and I hope this doesn’t come across wrong as I don’t intend it to, but honestly you are the only thing I remember of your stand.” – Seems that e-mail went around to the rest of the team and I heard about it from the others. – Ahem! Oh well…at least he was honest. :) Yet I also remember how degraded I felt when someone made a comment as to the effect of how my demeanor, character, looks, etc. was excellent for the fairs as I was perfect bait for people to come and “check me out”, and then see what great products we had. – I took that comment way too seriously, so that was wrong of me, but really, I do think there’s a way to witness to people (in my case, men) by being honest and upfront, sure, use your charm, your beauty, flirt, but I think there’s an art to be kept as to how its done.

I’m honestly not saying I know how to do this, and if anything this might be “pie-in-the-sky”, but I do admit that I often feel rather slutty to be pushed forward to “talk with someone and flirt with them” in order to get what is needed, or whatever. – You almost feel as if you’re being rather cheap about yourself.

Or is that just me?

I always found the FFing testimonies of our FGA women fascinating and intriguing, as though I imagine that not all mastered this above mentioned art, most of them received so much input from Dad, and even experience, as to how to be the “bait”, but to keep it in the right perspective. The movie “Dangerous Beauty” always captivated me because of that in many ways, and though I realize she did give them “some”, she did it with class, and contrary to what often happens when a man finally gets what he wants and has tried it out, those men came back for more.

I’m not sure if I’m way over my head with this, I’m honestly not that clear on how I personally see the “right way” working, but I do know that I’ve questioned often just how it might work. I think many of us SGAs & YAs need more input and training in how to minister to people within those boundaries. - We do not, after all, FF anymore! I am actually proud of my calling in life though, and when I minister to people and witness to them, I don’t feel that I have to use my “looks” to get what I want or to win people to the Lord. – I personally have boldness and conviction that if I need something, then as Jesus told his disciples in Luke 10:7: “the labourer is worthy of his hire.” And He “will supply all our needs” (Phil.4:19) Yes, it’s a HUGE blessing and helps people give more generously if I’m decent looking, but I also have women contacts at the market that just love me (us) and bubble over with the hugs, the smiles, the chats we have, etc. – And I don’t flirt with them! I witness to them, I pray for/with them, I listen to their heart-cries and problems, I try (yes, at least try) to lead them to the Lord and the Word, and that’s really my point, I don’t want people thinking its “me”. – If you use yourself, if you use your looks, if you flirt, aren’t you leading people to yourself rather than Jesus?

I don’t know if I made sense of things. – I guess we’ll see! I realize I haven't done the subject justice, but I am interested in people’s opinions though! Please let me know what you think. :)